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Tuesday 22 March 2011

The New Man-cabulary:..."This is a Man's word..."

Is it just me or is there a whole new vocabulary slowly creeping into our lives? One that is singling out certain words and "manifying" them? ....A Mancabulary! Come on you must have heard the stealth like assault as much as I, surrepticious stealing of perfectly harmless words and appropriating them for the male population. When did men become so insecure that they needed their own vocabulary? Or is this simply a new breed of Fashion Lingo? Anyone clueless check out the new" Man's words" slowly making their mark and being pronounced in every fashion/celebrity magazine and TV show: 
It all really started with the simple things that would make us laugh,like the" Man bag" that first appeared on Joey Tribiani  in episode of "Friends". We have since accepted that word and use it appropriately when spying a dude totting a Man bag and no...messenger bags don't count...a man bag will speak for itself and have you doing a double take.
Soon things like "Man up!" which makes perfect sense...also starts to single itself out,but not as much as the God awful affliction: "Moobs"....man boobs are terrible in every sense of the word and one I am sure they do not want to appropriate but has been afflicted upon them nonetheless...apt but cruel.
But this new Man-guage has started to multiply and take on a life of it's own; in just a few days I heard a bunch of new terms such as "Man love" which is self evident and I guess is another version of a "Bromance" which is a term I actually like but have never had the occasion to use.But whoever coined the phrase "Having a bromance with.." must also be responsible coming up with "Broga classes"....YES! Yoga for bros!!! I heard this on an episode of E !news and loved the sheer ludicrousness of it...only in Hollywood .Seriously,this term will never kick off in London...I just don't see any Brit wanting to be caught dead in a Broga class...Pole dancing yes....they will be lining up along the corridors.
So a beautiful woman on the arm of a man is know as" arm candy"...great term, but why oh why the necessity for "man candy"? Someone must be making the big dinero in a back room somewhere at the E! offices to come up with these words or are they just tripping off the tongues of the witty Giuliana Rancic et all?
So compadres...here are some more words straight from your Mancabulary..( will they sink or swim off every one's collective tongues?) Now a  holiday with the guys is a" Mancation"...I swear I did not make this up...and "Mangagement rings" are the new bling on the Red Carpet...Yes,you read it right...engagement rings for men..Why? I haven't a clue other than certain men are big on jewellery and maybe feel that us woman have somehow,through no fault of our own, monopolised the market on engagement rings?
But my argument is, will real men embrace this new lingo? And I mean men like my BF:meat and potatoes men with calluses on their hands from hard work and whose idea of a pedicure is to hack away at the hard skin on his feet with a razor blade...yes,those men...the ones who leave crumbs on table tops but will put their dishes in the dish washer....(whole other topic!)
 I think not,somehow.
This Mancabulary is a fashion forward, on trend speech and not for the down and dusty Kimosabis out there. This will trip of the tongues of the metrosexuals and Hollywood darlings,the Vogue readers ,the shoppers and bar hoppers...and me! Natch.
But as the song "This is a Man's world" goes:..."they would be nothing,nothing...without a woman or a girl."
I rest my case.