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Wednesday, 7 January 2015

New Year Vestimentary Resolutions 2015

So...How was it for you?...
This is by no means an opening sentence from an episode of "Girls"...(incidentally a program I simply can't get into...must have something to do with being a Carrie wannabe from the "Sex and the City" days...ah,yes..those were the days, my friends.)

So back to my asking; how your New Year celebrations were and more to the point: your resolutions.

So are we going to: lose weight? Go to the gym more? Get back to Pilates...stop yearning for abs we never had ???

Let us start with resolutions we can keep...they won't impact how we feel about our bodies,bingo wings or muffin tops...Damn...now I'm hungry for chicken or a Starbucks muffin... but more about how we should dress them.

I came across this in Vogue and thought that I would share some pointers with you:

Apparently there are more and more online "go to" sites than can help you connect with users who have similar body types and who will help you to source brands that will fit your shared body shapes:
"Fitbay.com "

Then you can get "Virtusize.com" to work out what size you need in which store..and "Metail.com" will give you a visual avatar wearing the chosen pieces in an e-changing room...
Have I lost you? Frankly...I switched off while typing it.

We already know we are not one standard size in each store let alone for different designers from different hemispheres....we can be a medium in one store and an XL in another.
This would have affected me greatly 10 years ago and set me back psychologically to a drooling mess on a changing room floor. Now I embrace the humorous side of it and pump my fist in the air while yelling:
"Bring it on!"

Moving on:

"If you're short,ensure that your waistband sits slightly higher than usual-it works as a visual trick to lengthen legs"....or make you look like Simon Cowell. Seriously? I am short,or "vertically challenged" which is more the lingo du jour...and the last thing I need is to have my waistband sidling up to my boobs...which are and always have been of "dowager" proportions! All you get from that image is a hobbit whose crotch has now been pushed up to her boobs.

"A long pendant necklace elongates the torso-great for apple shapes and pregnant women"....I agree on principle. But them pesky boobs start to play flip the chain from side to side so that the necklace is no longer in pole position but vying for attention.
...yes I have boob issues...

"Designers offer clues to the clothes they create: Roksanda Ilincic designs for the tall and willowy (....NB: no Roksanda)....Miuccia Prada's pieces reflect her own shape and tastes..( note to self: what is her shape again? and does that work for me?)....While Phoebe Philo's gamine body type gives an insight into Celine"....( that's why the bloody shirt wouldn't button up...)..Who is your body match?"....
Indeed....Maybe go with "faceless" designers for piece of mind: Zadig & Voltaire....per se?

"Avoid biker boots and chunky heels if your legs are thin,they will make them appear even skinnier"...chance would be a fine thing. But at least I can indulge in my love affair with Free Lance biker boots and them chunky heels that work as man repellents .
On a roll, ladies and gents!

And one before I leave you:

" Try a range of sizes- flattering your ego and getting the smallest size you can fit into is a fatal mistake..." no truer words have been written yet we are all guilty of having done that...please don't do it any more! Especially with bras!...(thought I'd give you a booby send off.)
There is "getting jiggy with it" and then there is "getting jiggly with it": creating 4 boobs instead of two is unnerving,unsettling and unappealing.