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Tuesday, 1 April 2014


"Fatal Attraction" :

We all saw the 1987 "bunny boiler"film ...and loved it.

Why it had to be revived in 2014 by Trevor Nunn and brought to a London West End stage...is beyond me.

What is also beyond me was the price of the tickets....well,it is starring Kristin Davies aka: Charlotte from the much beloved "Sex and the City", Natascha McElhone from...well loads of stuff and Mark"never heard of him" Bazeley...the play is a stinker.

We would have walked out as soon as it started....it started LOUD!!! I mean really LOUD!...A clanging sound that is supposed to represent a prison door closing...a metaphor to Dan's life and his 2 night fling with Alex (Natascha's character which was played by Glenn Close in the film)...and a group of people doing some robotic,moronic side steps towards the front of the stage from whence Mark Bazeley appears and starts "enunciating" far too much for my taste and far too ...here it comes again....LOUDLY.

Kristin Davies appears and is her sweet "Charlotte" self:
"Hiiiii! Honeyyyyy"....in a pair of Superga tennis shoes and navy jeans. She looks....out of place and  frankly....her element.
The dialogue is awful....when Dan first meets Alex and takes her out for dinner, he tells her some convoluted tale about when he worked in a bar...
"You're shitting me!"  is her contribution to this inane string of sentences .
This scene was so bloody boring I was about to slide off my seat, my brother in law's face was contorted in utter horror and my sister was staring ahead in disbelief.
The couple to my left,whom I kept looking at to distract myself from this train wreck had blessedly fallen asleep.....Yes! I shit you not!! 

The sex scene is hilarious as they writhe on a so called New York dance floor.....and we are treated to a Mark Bazeley running out in his Calvins to wash his hands in the kitchen sink of Alex's flat ,before wiping them dry on his....Calvins.

Half time was our saviour as we ran...nay! Bolted out of the starting gate into the warm and loving arms of the Wolseley.

The reviews aren't great...apparently the ending drops a bombshell as it is NOT the same one as the film when Alex (G. Close/ N. McElhone) is shot....frankly it wasn't incentive enough(had we know before hand...) to keep us glued to our seat. We simply didn't give a damn.....

See it at your own peril:

Theatre Royal Haymarket.