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Monday, 3 October 2011

"How to Catch a Boar...."

With a bowl of Irish whiskey and a handful of sleeping tablets.

I kid you not, that is precisely how my friend Janet's husband Philippe is going after the wild boars that have ravaged the garden of his summer house.
They first made an appearance earlier this summer...that is the upturned turf and holes did...no one saw nor hide nor hair of any boars. Someone said : "Oh that comes from a wild boar..."  Philippe's brother Frederic was more adament with his theory: " Don't be ridiculous...a bird made that hole."
There hasn't been any sightings of Emu's in the area either....
A G20 summit was held by Philippe with his gardeners and various family members to discuss this  attack on his garden. The summit approved his plan of attack and Philippe was dispatched to the nearest pharmacy.
The pharmacist was deeply concerned when Philippe wanted a packet of her strongest sleeping tablets:
"Are these for you?"
"No..I don't want to commit suicide, I just want to get rid of some boars that are making a mess of my garden" replied Philippe." How much would a guy my size need to be knocked out?" Philippe is a robust guy.
"One tablet."
"I'll take 3 boxes."

Three days later and still no sign of any nocturnal visitations, let alone any slumbering piglets. If anyone wants to go on a bender, there is a bowl of fine Irish whiskey in Philippe's back garden. As for the sleeping tablets? Well, the very busy ant activity around the house has ground to a startling halt ....zzzzzzz