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Monday, 25 May 2015


So the blessed film festival is over; Palme d'Ors have been handed out, hands shaken, backs patted and the paparazzi have moved onto pastures new or.... nude.

I have always had a love/ hate relationship with the film festival that dates back to my teen years  and watching it on TV with Barry Norman giving us the details of the stars' comings and goings.

Fast forward many years later... I am now living in Cannes and my relationship with the film festival is still as fraught as ever.
Apart from fleeting moments during lunches on beaches years ago... when that 2nd bottle of rose has you winking at Micheal Dougla....Did I feel like I had finally stepped into my television set and was living the dream....

Apart from the period I worked for Pashion magazine and wore the journalist badge with pride...until that is... I noticed that mine did not get me into films, after parties and generally...anywhere exciting...did I feel part of an exclusive enclave of people. 

Where does that leave me now? Older and wiser and happy to read about it and deal with the pangs of "what ifs "....from a safe distance.

So what has caught my attention?

There was a NO SELFIE rule ....like that is ever going to stop the likes of  ...well anyone on the red carpet! Selfies are considered vulgar and pedestrian and surely too primitive for the likes of the red carpets in Cannes or at The MET Ball...much to Anna Wintours disgust. But when Kim K/West can publish an entire book dedicated to just that...well where does that leave that rule? Out of the window.

There was a NO FLATS rule....excusez moi? I am conflicted ....and frankly torn. Obviously a long dress needs heels, like a fish needs water...But what of the extremely tall? Tilda Swinton for example ,surely she can pull off flats without getting anyone into a flap?

Moving on to Aishwarya Rai...and a journalist who decided to go on a : NO FLAB rant...


I present you with exhibit no.1:

Gorgeous, class act Aishwarya in an Oscar de la Renta gown:

And exhibit no.2:....

Yup! There it is...the offending flab...
Where is underarm "overflow" Spanx when you need it? 
So on a scale from 0 to 10 ..how offended are you?....hmmmm? Be honest now...

I can list 5 celebrities whose dress sense offends me on any given day and the lovely Ms. Rai is not one of them.

So lets us recap...Cannes 2015:

NO FLAB.....