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Thursday 16 December 2010

Till Death Do Us....Party !

This has been an eventful week when it comes to celebrity breakups...must be the run up to Christmas and/or end of the year.
First announcement was the breakup of the 3 year...(3 years... only?!) marriage between Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar, with the headlines claiming "She cheated! "
Well, as if that would make it all more plausible or credible.Why? Is poor Arun so hapless that one needs to applaud Elizabeth's prowess in pulling off the end of their marriage which such aplomb? Apparently their marriage has been over for a while now and that although "these are sad times" she seems to be  healing herself by getting her freak on with Australian cricketer and "Mask" lookalike Shane Warne. As luck would have it...he too claims that his marriage is over which conveniently exonerates the dalliance that has created the outcry. 
 Shane Warne is nothing but a bit of rough to reawaken a slumbering libido...she needed it and I congratulate her. Come on, whatever the reasons for the end of their marriage are and that is their business, just looking at things from here Arun looks like a snooze fest on a Sunday afternoon after roast beef and Yorkshire pud... That Bolly has left the woods and this will be great for both her ego and her image. Come New Years he'll be texting somebody else's wife and making a mess of things while Liz will safety pin herself into another tight gown,boobs a blazing while on the arm of a young lothario half her age...mark my word. You have been Warne-d....
Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johanssen have also called it quits after only 2 years of marriage,citing work commitments as the culprits.This is a great shame as they made such a gorgeous couple and one truly applauded that union.Now I fear people are also applauding its dissolution by the bucket loads: woman all over the world must be forming a queue for Ryan's heart while singing  Etta James' "At last": my love has come along..." Not that the men out there are getting a raw deal either! Two hotties released in one go...Christmas has come early.   
The breakup statement made was:"We end our relationship with love and it's with love and kindness we leave it." Don't let the door bump you on the way out...is more likely what he/she wanted to say...
For the third and final breakup,the perennial young lovers Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens have parted ways, having reached their relationship sell by date. The press release indicates that:"It's nothing dramatic.There's no third party involved." I believe it's more likely that he has reached a higher hollywood echelon and she no longer fitted the part nor did she feel like competing...and she simply doesn't.  From where I sit,Zac has a higher profile than Vanessa,he is more red carpet A list and his star his shooting through the heavens at warp speed. She doesn't quite have the same notoriety and hasn't really moved on from the ultimate hippy chick. To be frank,I can't quite name anything she has been in since her "High School Musical" days.  Come on,name one thing... The statement goes on to say that "they have been together a long time and that they simply drifted apart" which makes absolute sense and no one can refute this simple but honest statement. 
Zac will move on to Angelina...just kidding (she'll eat him alive or quite possibly adopt him) but definitely someone with equal A lister footing like the gorgeous Blake Lively or fabulous Leighton Meester and the fickle world will applaud that happy union.
Now...does anybody care who Kim Kardashian is now dating? Nah! I agree....I just enjoy watching her buttocks jostle for freedom within their too tight confinement and the only time I will care to hear anything about Justin Bieber is when he has shaved all his bloody hair off and joined the Hare Krishna's ...if truth be told.....not even then.

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