"P" is for "Barty" and other nonsense

Russel Peter in Lebanon: I have never heard of this comedian but when I was sent this by my sister I was nodding and laughing..."He gets it !"

There is no "P" in the arabic alphabet and "the broof was in the budding" way back when I was a kid and I would hear one of my uncle's say: he was travelling to "Baris".
"Make sure you have a barachute"!


I had to call up a store yesterday and identify myself:
"Bonjour! I'm calling to see whether you have sold the brass bed I left with you?"
"Can I have your name..."
" Adeeb....A.D double E..." and he interrupts
"Slow down please. A.D.."
"E.E. B...for Bernard."
"Reem Adeeb..."
"Yes,that's me."
"You said your name was Bernard!"
Pfffffff....."Give me an A...."!

A Spanner in the Works....

Just after having taken my car for a service at my local garage and being told that all was "good under the hood..." my BF and I were more than a little surprised when black smoke started to pour out of the exhaust like a smoke screen from the Batmobile. It got so bad that passersby were covered in the stuff as we idled by traffic lights and we were too embarrassed to look anyone in the eye.  A couple of phone calls later and a lunch that was not so much appreciated but merely ingested and we were back at the garage with the little chap who had serviced the car the day before.
This is a peculiar little man with a raucous laugh due to one too many cigarettes and a sense of humour that I just don't get...luckily my BF does so I let him handle it. The problem was solved in no time whatsoever once he had driven the car full throttle, covering part of the landscape in black smoke and then popping his head under the hood....he had failed to tightened the "what not" on the radiator. I was relieved but not surprised. A year and half ago I was there with the same little chap who was once again looking under the hood, when all of a sudden I heard:
"What on earth?...." My heart sank as I could see a simple oil check turn into a complete overhaul and kissing goodbye any chance of buying myself a "little some'tin some'tin"nice...
"Is that my screw driver? I've been looking for that for ages!"
Should have gone to Spec Savers....

Talking about Beyonce....

I heard a while back on some entertainment show or another(E!) that Beyonce's latest album "4" hadn't done well in the album charts....until she announced that she was pregnant..... So people started thinking what?: " Poor love, she's preggers now and will have a mouth to feed?"
Seriously what is the thought process behind that?
I love Beyonce but of late her songs are so fired up, her music clips are so intense:what with insane dance moves,insane wardrobe and make up that not only pops! but startles...that you need to pop a few Advils just to get over the sensory overload.

What Goes Around ....Comes Around

I don't have any children...But! I have a cat...Loulou. Lame name but in fairness he was my BF's first and now he is my Big Fat baby.
I heard him in the kitchen scratching on the door to be let out :
"Loulou...LOULOU! Come here and sit with us a while...."
And it hit me like a freight train....my mom used to yell the same thing to us when we used to hang out in our rooms ,to be anywhere in the house except with the rents:
"REEM! LiiiiiNA!??? Where are you?"
One floor up, each one in her room...."Whatttt??"
"Why don' t you come and sit with us instead of in your rooms...."
OMG! I have become my mother!!!!

"..What goes around comes back around,my....my baby" BEYONCE

" AaaaahhhH !.... Bicester ! " (pronounced:"Bis-ter" as in"Mister")

This will make sense to all the Brits and Brit expats out there...as for my American followers:the title of this piece will sound lame! (Play on words on the advertisement: "AaaaahH! Bisto!" a gravy mix). Andiamo...

So how excited were we to board the Shopping Express coach : Destination Bicester!
VERY!
It did not disappoint...3 of us rushed to the back of the bus to lay claim on the back row...You never get over that instinct ,believe me. Once there we sat back and watched the lovely British countryside whizz past while ticking off all the shops we wanted to go to on the brochure...which was promptly discarded once we got there, preferring a synchronized zig zag to anything remotely organized.

"Are we there yet?" one of us exclaimed...."Not yet" replied the "Voice of Reason"(my sister)
We all spilled out of the bus once we got there around 10.30 am and rushed head long into the quiet outlet village. First port of call : SUPERDRY and my first purchase: a t shirt for £11.00 as opposed to the £19.99 in the shops. OooH ! Bargain!!
 Out we flung ourselves into the brisk Oxforshire air, ready for our next "stop and shop"...it's a little like a "meet and greet" but with money being spent .

"Voice of Reason" bought a pair of booties she had coveted last year at Rupert Sanderson while I and "Young at Heart" hovered around like hyper children, ready to pounce in Prada or boogie in Burburry. Once in Burberry, I was running round like an insane person ... not knowing what to buy nor why and whether, if at all,it was wise to...as if wisdom was a necessary evil on this trip but I listened to it nonetheless and we left Burberry unscathed. 

The Ralph Lauren emporium had everything you could possibly not particularly want but could buy nonetheless...a perfect place to be outfitted from head to toe if you are so enclined. Classic pieces never die...we were not enticed and other than a polo for her husband ,"Voice of Reason" was the only one who bought something there.... "Young at heart" and I ran rampant around a still quiet village while waiting for her to pay. The retilin had not kicked in yet..so a pit stop for coffee at Pret a Manger was called for.

We progressed in orderly fashion, only stopping in places we really had a vested interest in. Both "Young at Heart" and I purchased a pair of shoes from Tod's and we were over the moon to have found classic shoes that don't need to scream "Last Season!" as there will be no one out here to hear them. Perfect shoes at a perfect price..the VIP card kicked in , giving us an extra 10%... Bonus!

                                                                            

"Prada" was heaving with people and with reason....there is so much to choose from. I spied a bag I had coveted : I plunged,touched, paused.....and engaged (Rugby season works for fashion too).

I won't go through all the places there are, the map is there to provide you will all the info as well as the different alternatives on how to get to Bicester... and get here you MUST! It is an absolute treat even if you only go home with a pair of tights from Wolford, as my friend Anne -Marie complained to me.

The only places that were more misses than hits were : Dior...a shambles/Amanda Wakeley,Aquascutum,Hobbs, Jaeger...fuddy duddy with nothing that screams this century...shame as I had my eye on a coat from Aquascutum,maybe next winter they will catch up with the present vibe. 

 Gucci was full of TOWIES and scary wannabe rap artists...But! Plenty to find there too,if you are so enclined. The UGG store was full of  the "Youf's"in pink velour tracksuits trying on fuschia pink Uggs...turn and leave. Moncler was the next stop for the Youfs now clad in their Fuschia Uggs ...those gorgeous downfilled jackets are as gorgeous as the ad campaigns by Bruce Weber .Try as I might, I simply come off  looking like a midget in a sleeping bag. So...a pass for me.

Lunch at Busaba Eathai was perfect and the only real restaurant open serving  hot food in a nice ,viby atmosphere. With a bottle of Merlot between us and some fabulously spicy thai food,we were beyond ecstatic... by the time Princess Micheal of Kent walked in with a small retinue of friends we were delirious! A celebrity sighting is always a crowd pleaser.

 The little shower of rain did nothing to dampen our spirits and by the time we got on the bus at 3.45pm, our shopping safely tucked away...we were laughing all the way home.

*MY PURCHASES *

OLD FRIENDS/YOUNG AT HEART

Open 7 days a week/ Shopping Express coach service,pick up at Victoria and the Cumberland hotel /drop off at the Cumberland hotel...but they will drum that into you during the journey:£23 return trip with a smile ...excellent service.

NB: aAAH! Just noticed that I could have used my VIP card at SuperDry as well as Busaba Eathai...!!! You'll just have to now...

The Reprieve

Apparently and according to my BF...I am in need of a visit to Katie at Daniel Hersheson for a much needed Permanent Blow dry...Guess my reprieve is ovah!...
The fact that he noticed is momentous :
"Babe! Look at your hair?!..." he mimes fuzz and whirls.
"You look like a Cauliflower!"
My next appointment is booked.

Look Du Jour: Snakes on Main street and LV bondage

Trench coat by Chloe

Levi's: vintage

Snakeskin boots by Prada

Leather bag by Mulberry

Python bag by Dior

PHOTO by Raymond Meier for Vogue (August)

Louis Vuitton monogrammed leather clutch with wrist cuff

Mary Janes by Manolo Blahnik

Photo by Alasdair McLellan for Vogue (August)





Better sift through my wardrobe... and I see what I can find in there!